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Stayers
Excerpts from A Light in the Tunnel, Chapter 3
Daniel had a strategy for helping his kids figure out who they were. As soon as he thought they were capable of making a decision, he’d say: “You choose!”
He’d ask questions, give his opinion, then give it up.
He didn’t demand that Jo wear a helmet when she rode her bike. Instead, he asked: “Why would you want to?” Then they’d have a chat about protecting the body. If she still insisted on not wearing it, that was her choice. The only thing he demanded was that she listened openly.
There was a whole slew of eccentric parenting methods that Daniel implemented.
“I don’t think we should ask for gifts or ever expect them,” he told them. “If someone wants to give something, that’s up to them. Giving a gift should be completely voluntary. Otherwise, it defeats the purpose.” Or, he’d suggest: “You might want to try finding time every day to close your eyes while staying awake. Notice the difference in how you feel when your eyes are closed. Do you need time for both? You decide.”
On her sixth birthday, Jo developed her own particular system for living life well. It was on this day that she founded an obsession with never allowing what she considered to be, important happenings, slip…
